Five things I should apparently remember.

[x_cable]

1) A deadline is not a deadline. At least not when it comes to essays. A deadline is merely a suggestion, one which students can of course feel free to ignore as they see fit. (After all, it's the quality of your work, right?)

2) Similarly, 'mandatory' does not in fact mean required. Especially not when in combination with the word 'attendance'. Thank you to my international relations class for educating me on this matter. Have no doubt that I will find a way to repay you. Fully.

3) Extendible limbs in fact do justify your decision to grope that really hot classmate you've had your eye on for weeks under the table while I'm trying to teach. I mean, why else would you have them?

4) People whose cell phones go off in class should be applauded. Nay, awarded for their stellar choice in ringtones. After all, 'Like A Virgin' is a perfect accompaniment for a discussion of the AIDS crisis in the Third World.

5) I am a mean old bastard who a) takes pleasure in tormenting you, b) is quite possibly crazy, too, c) needs to shave, and d) is going about everything all wrong. Oh, almost forgot. I'm also apparently e) really sexy when I'm angry. I would thank the person who was thinking that at me for a solid hour, but really? I'm sort of wishing I'd been headblind for the afternoon.

Comments

[x_cable]

x_snowflake
2004-12-01 11:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, you mean it really is a suggestion? Thank goodness. I wasn't sure.
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x_cable
2004-12-02 12:04 am (UTC)
I really hadn't made that clear, had I? All those mixed signals about handing it in on time or I'd start playing telekinetic dirty tricks... I really must remind myself that you all work much better with simple instructions, preferably in words of one syllable.

'Hand in work when want. Good!'
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x_snowflake
2004-12-02 12:48 am (UTC)
It's not my fault if some people don't take suggestions to heart. I handed mine in when you told us to. Although I still think footnotes are silly.

You must be so glad you don't have to listen to my thoughts during class. Or when you're shouting at us for not knowing instinctively things that are counter-intuitive like the whole deadline/class attendence/etc concept. You'd think you were responsible for us or something.
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x_cable
2004-12-02 05:40 am (UTC)
Your irrational prejudice against footnotes is going to be your undoing one day. Mark my words.

Don't think I missed the fact that you handed in yours on time. Huzzah for nonconformity!

And yes. You are a very comforting blank spot sitting there in the classroom.
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I wouldn't say sexy...
x_wytchbrat
2004-12-02 12:15 am (UTC)
... for fear of freaking out my classmates who seem to think anyone over the age of thirty is too old for _anything_ and have never lived in the same house as Rom, but you are sort of cute when you're grouchy. Like a big stubbly growly teddy bear. ;)
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x_icarus
2004-12-02 01:20 am (UTC)
4.) Obviously someone just wants to tell everyone that they support abstinence-only sex ed.
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x_blink
2004-12-02 01:35 am (UTC)
y'know...if people followed #4, they wouldn't ahve AIDS. makes sense to me.
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x_madelyn
2004-12-02 03:43 am (UTC)
It's a sad fact that in some African nations the child rape figures are increasing because it's believed sleeping with a virgin can cure the AIDS virus, and the easiest way to make sure the girl is a virgin is to get them young enough.

*sighs* Ignorance can be truly horrific.

And abstience has never worked when it comes to people. There's always someone who wants to push the big red button that says "Do not push this button".
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x_blink
2004-12-02 04:44 pm (UTC)
*boggles* I think I'm going back to my bubble now...

of course telling people not to do something never works. but it does make sense.

this is why I don't write foreign policy.
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x_forge
2004-12-02 02:53 pm (UTC)
Yes, but when have people ever followed something as easy as simple logic when the easy opportunity is there for a quick happy?
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x_blink
2004-12-02 04:44 pm (UTC)

...you need more sugar...
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x_forge
2004-12-02 04:45 pm (UTC)
Well, you have to admit it does make sense.
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x_blink
2004-12-02 04:57 pm (UTC)
what does needing sugar have to do with anything making sense?
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x_forge
2004-12-02 05:00 pm (UTC)
No, no - your POINT makes sense. About #4. Criminy, maybe you need LESS sugar.
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x_blink
2004-12-02 05:06 pm (UTC)
I'm sugar free today. I'm not sure why.

wanna fence?
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x_forge
2004-12-02 05:10 pm (UTC)
Holy crap, you mean like with swords and stuff? Like my life isn't hectic enough without you stabbing holes in me?
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x_blink
2004-12-02 06:23 pm (UTC)
they're tipped. no more holes in you. unless you go get more piercings
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x_blink
2004-12-02 03:03 am (UTC)
wait. thought #2 (shocking, I know)

we all live here. so why do we need cell phones in class? who is going to call us? okay, parents maybe, but they should know we're in class and leave a message!
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I have a couple more for you...
x_madelyn
2004-12-02 03:49 am (UTC)
Although it's times like these I'm overjoyed not to be telepathic. *grins*

6. Reading can apparently be done quite easily by watching television, making out with your girl/boyfriend, whatever. Anything except actually opening the book. In fact, you don't even need to take the book with you at the end of class, since you've already absorbed all you need by osmosis.

7. Gum doesn't count as food, as in 'no eating in class'. Apparently chewing is an acceptable loophole.

8. Too much soda acts as an excuse for everything, from why your homework isn't done to why you just made the frog dissection belonging to your table mates dance the tango.
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Re: I have a couple more for you...
x_crowdofone
2004-12-02 05:33 am (UTC)
About #6, okay, yes, guilty as charged, but at least I'm reading the book somewhere else while I'm doing those other things? :)
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Re: I have a couple more for you...
x_madelyn
2004-12-02 05:43 am (UTC)
That's Jamie, always re-writing the existing rules... :)
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Re: I have a couple more for you...
x_jubilee
2004-12-02 08:19 am (UTC)
*pout* But gum is my crutch dammit! How else am I going to stop from saying the things I really shouldn't be saying.
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x_jubilee
2004-12-02 08:21 am (UTC)
Just be glad you haven't had a class with me in it this week. I've had Kylie Minogue's 'I can't get you outta my head' stuck in my head for days.

That song should be banned by the Geneva Convention.
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x_sanfuaiyaa
2004-12-02 02:11 pm (UTC)
Ha. The irony is enough to kill a man.
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x_blink
2004-12-02 04:45 pm (UTC)
that song is EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU!!!!
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x_foliate
2004-12-02 01:08 pm (UTC)
Mmm... footnotes.